From the moment that i started to Seek Allah even when i was just reading about different religions, it gave me such a satisfying feeling, which was so weird for me. I knew i was doing something right, i knew i was heading in the right direction...
One day when i was at home and was moving stuff around, i find it so hard to get rid of things... i still have birthday cards from when i was 5yo... I then come across a book my school friend had given me, it was about the most popular practices a Muslim follows... so of course it attracted my attention because id been reading about religion for awhile now....
It was the first time i had really ever thought of Islam as even a religious option, i just kinda thought 'oh they are alright ppl, mostly arabs, and they follow some guy named Mohammed'.. i had many muslim friends, i went to a school with mostly muslims... not many of them practicing but i had a close friend, i remember he had organised with the school to use a particular room to be able to pray in.. so sometimes he would take off and go pray.. this was the same friend who gave me the book about common practices of Muslims..
So i came across this book that id had in my possession for about 5yrs, i opened it and i learnt so many thing i didnt know. It wasnt so much about the beliefs but about how clean they were and somethings that stood out was, stepping into the house with the right foot, eating with the right hand and say Bismillah when you eat or do anything as a form or worship...
I remember thinking Wow these people are really dedicated, i think back to Muslim i knew and how they were and compared it to how they should be and i seen a BIG difference. So i started to look up some websites and i came across a few site giving free islamic books and started to read abit about islam...
The more i would learn and understand the religion, the more i wanted to know... i was FALLING IN LOVE with this religion. I stopped reading about other religion because my feeling were leading me to do what i was doing. I didnt even realise what was going on, i just kinda had in my head,
'Well how can i say its not the right religion if i know nothing about it'...
Thinking back, Allah was softening my heart towards Islam :D... Growing up is a popular Muslim area i mostly seen the bad side of Muslim, the non practicing Muslim.. How the boys would swear and have no respect for anyone, how the girls would always say, nah i cant do this, i cant do that, or how many of them would speak in arabic and give you funny looks and even steal your parking spot lol...
Dont get me wrong i had a close bunch of friends who were Muslim and they didnt really practice, just fast in ramadan and thats it but they were a great bunch of people to know, they respected me so much and i had alot of respect for them.
So i started to become a little obsessed about it LOL, reading non stop, hiding my books that said the word Islam on the cover when i was on the train or going to the park for my lunch break to be able to read comfortably without any of my co workers questioning me about what i was reading..
It had become this big secret of mine, i slowly stopped eating pig, then stopped drinking, then my clothes started to cover abit more over time and then i came to a point where i didnt have anything to do with my past beliefs, i titled my self as a non-christian, so i said to people i believe in God but not sure which religion i would worship God through yet.
I was over the whole dating scene, i wasnt interested in boyfriends or dating, it all seemed kinda pointless to me. It was always the same story, most guys only want one thing and it usually doesnt take long to figure it out and by that time they have talked about you, made you look bad or easy and ur reputation and feelings are tarnished..
I had one thing on my mind, and i was really excited and happy at the thought of finding answers and making a positive change, i felt as if 'i was coming closer to God'..
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