A horrible call

Everything was going along fine until in 2005 the day after my 21st birthday....

I was at work, my co-workers had secretly arranged a cake for me and just before they bring it out, my phone rings, its my mum, she in a panic and talking about my sisters son being in an accident.

I freaked out, my sister was on a helicopter to Sydney with her 7 and a half month old son and i didnt know how bad it was or what had happened... I didnt want to start crying in front of the people i worked with, so i got up and ran straight past my birthday cake lol.... just as i flung the back door open tears streamed down my face... a woman i was close to followed me, asked me whats wrong and hugged me... i told about my sisters son and she told me get ur stuff, ill drop u off home so u can be with ur family...

Oh gosh i just wasnt prepared for what was to come...

I got home and my mum picked me up and we went to RPA and i seen my sister for the first time in 3 years... since she had ran away from home when she was 16yo. She still looked the same, i could see that she had been cry, she came to me and hugged me like she needed me..

I had to cry, she kept saying, if he dies im going to kill myself, i cant live without him... this is all my fault, what have i done? She told me the story, her boyfriend had shaken her son to the point he had caused brain damage..

I walked over and seen my nephew for the first time, laying in a bed, naked with tubes everywhere and bandages around his head.. he look so peaceful, as if he was just sleeping.. i just wanted to pick him up and hug him... my poor sister, she couldnt even do that..

All i could think about was, Allah, Allah has blessed me with another day of life, and extra opportunity to accept Islam...

I stayed in the hospital for 2 days with her, i couldnt sleep knowing how suicidal she was. They did test over and over, but he was non responsive. He was Brain dead and there was no chance of him recovering.. My sister had to decide to turn the life support off and if she wanted to donate any of his organs...

Oh course in Islam your not ment to but i didnt want to inflence my sisters decision. i didnt want her to feel like i forced her to do anything... this was her son and her choice... She was only allowed to give certain organs because of how he died, some part of his body were needed as evidence against the man that did this...

So we said i final good byes, cut a lock of his hair, some photos and a hand and foot print for my sister to keep as a memory..

I found so much comfort in Islam, to know that my darling nephew will Inshallah be one of the children in paradise that will be waiting for his mummy at the gates...

It took 2 weeks for the coroner to be finished with him so that we could bury him.. oh the time went on so long, i wonder so much, how could Allah do this to my sister, to my nephew, to my family, to me..... and i think the whole experience drew me closer to Islam, its what made my heart fee at ease... Knowing that this life is only a tempory place and that once we die, where ever we go, its forever... I started to see our true purpose, our meaning and our one true goal in this life... TO WORSHIP ALLAH OUR CREATOR!!!

This was such a deep experience for me and it scared me so much, i thought if i die, im going straight to hell, ill be burning for eternity... My gosh what if i go to sleep and never wake up, what about when im questions about why i didnt accept islam.. how many stupid excuses would i come up with...


I was thinking about death ALL the time, it was driving me nut! Thats when i started to read alo0t about death in Islam, our soul, what happens in the grave, when do we meet God and how we are all judged...


I Believe it all and still i kept going on with my life, trying to hide the guilt of my sins and the thoughts of death...